Adoption/Foster Care

Webinar: Tips for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ) People Seeking to Become Foster/Adoptive Parents in New York State

Recorded July 19, 2010

Meeting Description:
In this hour-long webinar Fred Elia, a Child Welfare Trainer/Consultant with over 30 years experience, acquaints participants with the public/private agency process to becoming a foster/adoptive parent and how best to navigate that process. The session explores the parenting possibilities of fostering and/or adopting and helps participants identify LGBTQ-welcoming agencies. Attendees will also gain an understanding of the criteria for selection, and the steps in New York State’s certification process.

Background:
The New York child welfare system is in constant need of foster/adoptive families for the approximately 23,000 children in its care. More than ever, members of the LGBTQ communities are taking their places as temporary or permanent parents to some of these children and youth.

Meeting Sponsor:
The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project, headquartered in Binghamton, is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people in upstate New York achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. Pride and Joy, its network of LGBTQ-led families, provides support, educational programs, and a sense of community to the adults and children in these families.

Listen to/view the webinar now by clicking on this link:

View presentation

The Adoption Clubhouse
www.adoptionclubhouse.org

A website for adopted children aged 8-12. It features a speak out section with kids writing about their experiences; a staffed message board where kids can talk to each other; suggestions on how to handle tough school assignments, like the “family tree”; a library with book and movie reviews; and more.

Adoptive Families Magazine
www.adoptivefamilies.com

Adoptive Families, the award-winning national adoption magazine, is the leading adoption information source for families before, during, and after adoption.

A Thousand Moms
www.athousandmoms.org

A Thousand Moms comprises a network of diverse people across the spectrum of New Yorkers, representing many skills, abilities, and talents. Its mission is to organize, educate, and mobilize in order to meet the emotional, developmental, and social needs of youth in our child welfare systems who may be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or questioning their sexual identity so they may reach their full potential. Its goals include: recruiting foster/adoptive parents in local communities; training foster/adoptive/birth families at county and private agencies; raising awareness of the needs of LGBT/Q youth in communities through meetings with local civic, business, and religious organizations and leaders; and ensuring that LGBT/Q youth in foster/adoptive care receive the emotional, physical, and social support they need. A Thousand Moms is a project of the National Association of Former Foster Children, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

Creating a Family
www.creatingafamily.com

Adoption/Infertility Consulting Services, Host of Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility and Adoption, Author of www.creatingafamily.com, an online information resource

New York State Citizens’ Coalition for Children, Inc. www.nysccc.org

NYSCCC is an advocacy organization comprised of adoptive and foster parent groups throughout the state, agencies, and concerned citizens who believe in the right of EVERY child to a permanent, loving family. Services include information, referrals, and support and guidance for prospective adoptive and foster parents.

GAY PARENTS SPEAK http://www.photosynthesisproductions.com/store

GAY PARENTS SPEAK was produced in collaboration with the Human Rights Campaign in Washington, DC. The DVD contains a 22-minute video plus a discussion guide, bonus scenes and other resources and is intended for prospective adoptive parents as well as for the professionals who work with them.

US Dept. of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families, Child Welfare Information Gateway: Working with Diverse Populations
http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/nam/diverse
populations.cfm

Advocacy

Immigration Equality, Inc.
www.immigrationequality.org

Seeks equal application of U.S immigration law toward LGBT couples, resource/support network for bi-national relationships; advocates for persons facing HIV/AIDS discrimination and those seeking asylum based on sexual orientation.

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF)
www.thetaskforce.org

Founded in 1973, NGLTF was the first LGBT civil rights and advocacy organization and remains the movement’s leading voice for freedom, justice and equality.

Empire State Pride Agenda
www.prideagenda.org

Statewide non-partisan lesbian and gay political advocacy organization. Works to end discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation by lobbying elected officials, electing supportive candidates, mobilizing constituent pressure at the local level, and educating the public.

Family Equality Council
www.familypride.org

Through advocacy, support and educational activities, advances the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents and their families. Promotes positive public policy for families of LGBT people. Provides written guide to starting local LGBT parenting groups.

Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) www.glad.org

New England’s leading legal rights organization is dedicated to ending discrimination based on sexual orientation, HIV status, gender identity and expression. GLAD uses impact litigation and education to achieve its goals.

Human Rights Campaign (HRC)
www.hrc.org

HRC is the largest national lesbian and gay political organization with members throughout the country. It effectively lobbies Congress, provides campaign support and educates the public to ensure that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.

Also visit www.welcomingschools.org for a comprehensive guide for administrators, educators, parents and guardians who want to strengthen their schools’ approach to family diversity, gender stereotyping and bullying. Welcoming Schools is specifically designed for use in K-5 learning environments and is inclusive of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender families and individuals in the broader context of diversity.

New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.nyscadv.org

The NYSCADV is a non-profit membership organization whose mission is to eradicate domestic violence and to ensure the provision of effective and appropriate services to victims of domestic violence through community outreach, education, training, technical assistance and policy development. NYSCADV also provides a 24-hour, toll-free, statewide Domestic & Sexual Violence Hotline.

New York State Citizens’ Coalition for Children Inc. www.nysccc.org

NYSCCC is an advocacy organization comprised of adoptive and foster parent groups throughout the state, agencies, and concerned citizens who believe in the right of EVERY child to a permanent, loving family. Services include information, referrals, and support and guidance for prospective adoptive and foster parents.

National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR)
www.nclrights.org

Founded in 1977, the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) is this country’s only lesbian, feminist, multicultural, national legal resource and advocacy organization with a primary focus on advancing the legal rights of lesbians and their families. Through precedent setting litigation, public policy advocacy, free legal advice and counseling, and community education NCLR helps create a world in which all lesbians can live fully, free from discrimination. NCLR’s family law, youth, immigration, and elder law projects benefit lesbians and gay men, and bisexual and transgendered individuals throughout the United States.

ACLU Lesbian and Gay Rights Project www.aclu.org/lgbt/index.html

The LGBT Project fights discrimination and moves public opinion on LGBT rights through the courts, legislatures and public education.

Family Building

American Fertility Association

http://www.theafa.org/family-building/lgbt-family-building/
"The American Fertility Association supports family building rights for couples, individuals, heterosexual persons, and persons who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT). We believe that family, in all its diverse forms, strengthens societies and therefore, the world. If you’re part of the LGBT community and want to learn more about your options for starting a family, you’ve come to the right place. We’re the only fertility organization that supports gays and lesbians in their family building efforts."

Lesbian Infertility List (LIL)

LIL is an electronic mailing list for self identified lesbians, our partners, and our loved ones who are experiencing infertility. This list has been created to provide a safe place for the exchange of feelings and information surrounding infertility. To subscribe, send an email message to majordomo@groups.queernet.org with a blank subject line and put the following in the body of the message: subscribe LIL.

Creating a Family
www.creatingafamily.com

Adoption/Infertility Consulting Services, Host of Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility and Adoption, Author of www.creatingafamily.com, an online information resource

Health

American Fertility Association
www.theafa.org

The American Fertility Association serves people affected by infertility and reproductive health issues by providing advocacy, education and support. Special section at their website on GLBT family building.

American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)
www.asrm.org

The ASRM provides information on infertility, adoption, third party pregnancy, artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization. We provide lists of physicians, assisted reproduction programs and cryobanks. In addition, the ASRM covers other issues in the reproductive life cycle, such as sexual dysfunction, endometriosis, menopause and reproductive disorders.

Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators (ALACE)
www.alace.org

ALACE is an international nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting women’s choices in childbirth. ALACE provides training for childbirth professionals, and referrals for parents who are seeking childbirth classes or a Labor Assistant or Birth Doula.

Fenway Community Health
www.fenwayhealth.org

LGBT Family and Parenting Services organizes education, support, and advocacy activities for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered prospective parents, parents, and children. These include The Alternative Insemination Program, Considering Parenting group, Childbirth Class for Lesbians, Parenting Group, and more.

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)
www.glma.org

GLMA represents the interests of thousands of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender physicians, medical students, and other health care professionals as well as millions of LGBT patients throughout North America. The largest organization of its kind, GLMA was founded in 1981 as the American Association of Physicians for Human Rights. Provides health care referrals.

American Psychological Association, Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns
http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/about/index.aspx

The Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Concerns Office works to eliminate the stigma of mental illness long associated with same-sex sexual orientation and to reduce prejudice, discrimination, and violence against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Major functions of the office include support to APA’s Committee of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Issues and with other APA groups that have an interest in lesbian, gay, and bisexual concerns; policy analysis, development, and advocacy for APA policy; technical assistance, information, and referral to APA members, policymakers, the media, and the public; and development of publications and other information on lesbian, gay and bisexual concerns in psychology.

Legal

American Civil Liberties Union
www.aclu-de.org

Information and legal services.

Cornell Law School Advocacy for LGBT Communities Clinic
http://www.lawschool.cornell.edu/academics/clinical
program/lgbtclinic/Clients.cfm

Provides free legal assistance to low-income LGBT people in Tompkins County and the surrounding area.

Lambda Legal
http://www.lambdalegal.org/

Lambda pursues litigation in all parts of the country in every area of the law that affects lesbians, gay men, and people with HIV/AIDS, through impact litigation, education, and public policy work.

Lesbian and Gay Law Association of Greater New York (LeGal)
www.le-gal.org

Walk in legal clinics and referral service to private practice attorneys. Sponsor of annual LGBT Law Conference and summer internship program. Publisher of Lesbian/Gay Law Notes.

Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund
www.transgenderlegal.org

Parenting

Webinars on LGBTQ Family Topics

Webinar: Gender in LGBTQ Families
Recorded January 18, 2012

In this 1 ½ hour webinar, Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev, Albany-area family therapist, educator and writer, discusses gender in LGBTQ families, including roles within same-sex couples, gender identity, trans parenting, and raising gender-variant children. Ari also address questions such as, ‘How do we assist our children in developing healthy gender identities, whether they are “normative” or variant?’ and ‘How do we, as parents, manage our own angst about our children’s developing sex and gender identities?’”

Listen to/view the webinar now:

Webinar: Talking to ChildrenLGBTQ Families About Their Origins
Recorded March 7, 2012

Presenter Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev, Albany area family therapist, educator and writer describes how to talk with children about their origins and their inclusion in LGBTQ families as they mature through various stages of life.

Listen to/view now:

Audio Presentation: How to Start a COLAGE Chapter---A special training for those who seek to support children with LGBTQ parents (1 ½ hours recorded November 12, 2009)

Meeting Description:
Parents and other adults who are interested in supporting children with lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender/queer (LGBTQ) parents are invited to listen to this 1½ hour audio recording of the telephone conference call, “How to Start a COLAGE Chapter,” from a meeting held on November 12, 2009 and hosted by the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project.

COLAGE Chapters are local or regionally-based social and support groups that connect children of LGBTQ parents to a community of peers, helping them to become confident leaders who are proud of themselves and their families. Interested young adults with LGBTQ parents are also cordially invited to attend the training. COLAGE is a growing movement of people with LGBTQ parents that is dedicated to creating a safer and more just world for COLAGErs and their families.

Meredith Fenton, then-COLAGE Program Director, discusses the nuts and bolts of launching your own COLAGE chapter. With the audience of upstate New York residents, the conversation also turns to ways to overcome the special challenges faced by LGBTQ families in smaller cities and rural communities.

Meeting Sponsors:
COLAGE (www.COLAGE.org) is a national movement of children, youth and adults with one or more LGBTQ parents. COLAGE builds community and works for social justice through youth empowerment, leadership development, education and advocacy. COLAGE is headquartered in San Francisco, CA but offers chapters, events and programs throughout the United States.

The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project (www.PrideAndJoyFamilies.org) is dedicated to helping LGBTQ people in upstate NY achieve their goals of building and sustaining healthy families. We do this by providing support, advocacy, information, and access to community and sensitive healthcare and services.

FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL RELEASES

“PROMISING PRACTICES” - TOOLKIT FOR LGBT FAMILY GROUPS

Toolkit Provides Resources to Help Build, Support and Strengthen Family Groups

Boston, MA - Family Equality Council, the national organization that connects, supports and represents the one million parents who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) and the two million children they are raising, recently released “Promising Practices” – a toolkit designed to help not only those interested in creating new LGBT family support groups, but to also strengthen existing ones.

“Promising Practices” is a result of a multi-year collaboration with Center Families, the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Family Services Program, the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project, the LGBTQ Parenting Network, the MEGA Family Project and Our Family Coalition.

The toolkit provides strategies for several key areas of work with LGBT family groups including: organizing infrastructure, creating activities and programming, building community, forming parent and peer groups and advocating around issues.

“As an organization that has been working for 12 years to help LGBTQ-led families in Upstate New York find each other and the resources they need to build and sustain healthy families, we’ve learned a few things about supporting and empowering families and creating community. We have been thrilled to be able to participate in this national discussion, and to share some of our ‘lessons-learned’ in this valuable toolkit,” said Claudia Stallman, Project Director for the Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project/Pride and Joy Families, headquartered in Binghamton, NY.

Family Equality Council Director of Programs Brent Wright called the toolkit a valuable resource for those organizing supports for LGBT parents and their children.
“All parents want the chance to celebrate their community, connect with other families like theirs, while feeling empowered to take action on behalf of important issues.” said Wright.

Copies of Promising Practices can be found at http:// www.familyequality.org/get_informed/parent_resources/
In an effort to ensure the toolkit remains effective, Family Equality Council and its partners will solicit feedback on “Promising Practices.” Groups are encouraged to comment about how the toolkit was used, which sections were most useful and what can be improved about the guide. A feedback form can also be found on the Family Equality Council website.

Family Building Project a “Best Practice”

The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project was cited as a “best practice” in the recent publication, Family Life Education with Diverse Populations, Sharon M. Ballard and Alan C. Taylor, editors, SAGE Publications (2012). Lis Maurer, Program Director for Ithaca College’s Center for LGBT Education, Outreach and Services, authored the chapter on “Family Life Education with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Families,” and identified our Project as one of nine programs around the country that offers “best practices and successful programming for LGBT families.” Thank you, Lis, for taking notice, and for your contribution of this important chapter to the family life education literature!

http://www.sagepub.com/books/Book235331

Beyond Blood is a new blog for Psychology Today written by our good friend Dr. Abbie Goldberg of The Transition to Adoptive Parenthood Project at Clark University. Abbie spoke at our 2009 Pride and Joy Families Weekend Conference in Utica and has been a great resource to our Project for many years. Please check out Abbie's blog, which she describes as being "“about the not-so-alternative families of today: adoptive families, gay parent families, and other families that are born of love and not of blood” at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-blood.

Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere [COLAGE]
www.colage.org

A support and advocacy group run by and for daughters and sons of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents. They have newsletters, local groups, email lists, national conferences, pen pals, an extensive website, and more.

Families Joined by Love
www.familiesjoinedbylove.com

A comprehensive bookstore, resource center, and discussion community for LGBT families and the important people in their lives. We have created this sophisticated new resource for LGBT families in response to a growing need within the LGBT community for information and literature on topics related to parenting, adoption, legal and financial issues, and other areas of interest for current and prospective LGBT parents.

Families Like Ours, Inc.
www.familieslikeours.org

Families Like Ours is a nonprofit support service for alternative families through adoption. We are not an adoption office, nor a legal firm but a support center and community for those who have already adopted and those who are seeking adoption. In an effort to provide community support, everything is live on the net 24 hours a day at our website. There you will find live chat with other parents and professionals, message boards, adoption information, state and legal resources, family stories, and other helpful resources. This service is community driven, meaning it changes and forms to fit the needs of parents. The one stop place for all your links and resources for adoptive gay and lesbian parents.

Gay Parent Magazine
www.gayparentmag.com

Periodical for parents as well as parents-to-be, featuring articles and advertisements on creating and nurturing your family. Special issues include gay-friendly schools, camps for kids, and an issue that focuses on conception, pregnancy, childbirth and infancy. A list of regional LGBT parent support groups is also featured.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG)
www.pflag.org

Promotes the health and well being of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons, their families and friends through support, education, and advocacy. There are PFLAG chapters throughout the country that offer support groups and social activities to parents, families and friends: call or check the website for a local group. There are numerous chapters throughout New York State.

Pink Parenting Magazine
www.pink-parenting.com
www.facebook.com/pinkparenting
www.twitter.com/pinkparenting

The Premier Parenting Magazine for the LGBT community that are either interested in having children or already have them. Available in both Digital (iTunes, Android, Smartphone, Tablet) & Print.

Rainbow Rumpus
www.rainbowrumpus.org

The magazine for kids with LGBT parents.

Marriage/Relationship Status

Helpful information about getting married in NYS:

A Community Conversation: Marriage Equality Act
Aired live on WSKG public radio on Tuesday, August 23, 2011

On June 24th, New York became the sixth state in the country to legalize gay marriage. While many view the Marriage Equality Act as a significant victory, many others are quick to point out that the fight for same-sex civil rights is far from over.

Listen to this hour-long conversation on marriage equality in New York State:

http://wskg.org/episode/marriage-equality-act

The program aired on WSKG public radio on August 23rd and is hosted by Crystal Sarakas. Guests are Erika Pelletreau, Empire State Pride Agenda, and Ivan Espinoza-Madrigal, Lambda Legal, and Claudia Stallman, Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project.

From the NY State Department of Health---http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_records/marriage_
equality_frequently_asked_questions.htm?tr=
y&auid=8675745

From NY Civil Liberties Union---
Know Your Rights: Frequently Asked Questions about New York's Marriage Equality Act (2011): http://www.nyclu.org/marriageFAQ?tr=y&auid=8675750

From Lambda Legal---
Marriage Equality for Same-Sex Couples in New York Frequently Asked Questions: http://www.lambdalegal.org/publications/factsheets
/fs_marriage-equality-same-sex-couples-ny.html

Marriage Equality New York (MENY) is a grassroots, all-volunteer, single-issue organization dedicated to securing the right of ALL New Yorkers to enter into legally recognized civil marriages. Their website continues to be a good source of information about events and activities taking place around the state: http://www.meny.us/home

Schools

Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
www.glsen.org

GLSEN strives for the equality and safety of all members of every school community, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Provides educational resources and supports school-based gay/straight alliances.